


From now on

by Silverdancer



Category: VIXX
Genre: Fluff, Gen, anniversary fic, canon compilant, no one loves vixx more than vixx
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-12 00:08:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19217614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverdancer/pseuds/Silverdancer
Summary: The anniversary approaches and some decisions need to be taken.





	From now on

**Author's Note:**

> To everyone who loves them nearly as much as they do ♥

**April 10, 2019**

  
  


Taekwoon checks the file with the guide track and the lyrics again, making sure everything is correct before sending it. He plays the file and leans back on the chair, closing his eyes. He knows what it would mean, to send these files now. He lets the music wash over him and considers. 

If he agrees to a comeback now, it would have to come with signing another contract again. There would be no time to plan it even if they agreed to not change the songs one bit. He hasn’t had time to consider his options, still, always too focused on the next project. And now, less than two months beforethe contract ends, he doesn’t know what to do. 

He sings along to his own voice, the lyrics coming easily to him. 

He ponders. What would it mean to start over somewhere else, without the people who know him and know how he works. Without people willing to accommodate him. He sings along and thinks that starting over would mean that it might be some time before he got to show his own music again. Before he could meet his fans and stand on stage, under that warm, shining light. 

The ring in his hand feels heavy, suddenly, and he spins it around his finger on instinct. They haven’t talked about it yet, but he knows that if even one of them doesn’t renew VIXX will disband. There is no VIXX without all six of them. 

He doesn’t know what the rest of them are thinking, but he doesn’t want it to be over because of him. 

The song ends and Taekwoon sits up. Looks at the email again, considers, ponders. 

And hits send. 

***

**April 17, 2019**

  
  


He’s fishing inside the plastic bag right as he wishes the cashier a good day, and by the time Jaehwan gets to the door of the building he has already a lollipop unwrapped and inside his mouth. His phone rings and Jaehwan picks it up right as the elevators doors open. It’s an unknown number, he notices before picking up, but with the new musical and the auditions he has gone to lately, he figures it’s worth the risk. 

“Who is it?” he asks. 

There’s a silence on the other end of the line and he considers hanging up until, “Lee Jaehwan?” 

“Yes, that’s me,” he answers. The voice on the other end is deep, serious. He feels like he has heard it before but Jaehwan doesn’t quite place it. He’s so focused on trying to remember who the voice belongs to that he almost misses his floor, the doors closing already by the time he gets out. So focused, that clearly, he must mishear what the voice says next. 

“This is Glove entertainment. We have an offer for you.” 

*

Jaehwan enters the dorm in a daze. He can hear the sounds of Hongbin playing on the computer and while he would usually pop in to say hi, he does not think he can do that right now. Not without talking about what just happened — and he’s not sure he wants to do that just yet. He crosses Sanghyuk’s room quickly, thanking every coincidence that made him not be there in that moment, and enters his room, letting himself fall face first on the mattress. 

“We heard that your contract with your current agency is ending soon,” the agent had said, “and we would be very interested in you signing with our company.” 

“We think you could really fit in here,” he said. 

Jaehwan had been speechless, and had asked for some time to think about it. But now that he can think about it… he doesn't know where to start. 

*

When thinking by himself does not work, he gets some help. 

“Ning ning, help me,” he whines in his most pitiful voice as soon as Heeyeon picks up his call. 

“Oh no what happened? Did you get locked out of your dorm again?” she jokes and Jaehwan wants to joke too, but the smile forming on his mouth at hearing her freezes midway when he remembers the reason for his call. 

“Heeyeon-ah,” Jaehwan says. He does not know how to begin, this is too difficult to begin with. But with the silence, he can hear her move away from the background noise. And when she speaks next, there’s nothing of the playful voice she had just used. 

“Come pick me up, I will be waiting at the entrance,” her voice is soft when she speaks and waits for him to confirm before hanging up. It was not an order, not really, and Jaehwan feels relieved for both the choice and having something to focus on. 

Grabbing the keys of his car, he gets up, grateful for the distraction. 

*

It’s easier to say in person than he thought it would be. 

After he picked her up they went to grab some coffee and Jaehwan drove them someplace quiet, so they could talk in peace. She didn’t even have to prod for him to start spilling all out. 

“Glove entertainment made me a contract offer, to sign for them,” he blurts. Everything else is easier after that. All the thoughts that ran through his mind before come out now, one by one. Heeyeon listens to him, sipping her coffee until there is no more to drink, always paying attention to him. 

She listens to him talking about his insecurities in maybe going solo, starting over in another agency, and how that would make him lose the support that he has come to count on so much. She listens when he gets too honest, wondering how would his members feel, how he knows he shouldn’t care this much because it’s his life, but how he can’t help but do it. She listens to him until he sobs quietly, nervous, afraid of knowing what is the right answer. And when he’s done talking, and crying, she hands him a tissue, and speaks. 

“It’s okay to want to sign with them again, Jaehwan-ah,” she says. 

Jaehwan expects jokes, or scolding, or even Heeyeon’s own thought process when she decided to not sign with his label again. 

He does not expect this approval. And above all, he does not expect for this to be what he needs, for the knot on his chest to undo this fast, breathing coming to him better than before. 

He was afraid of making the wrong choice because he knew once he settled on something, he wouldn’t be able to change it. What he had not been so fast to realize is that his heart had already chosen. 

***

**April 24, 2019**

  
  


Sanghyuk is reading his lines in silence, the room still mostly empty, when he hears someone calling for him from behind him. 

“Sanghyuk!!” Sanghyuk turns around, and finds one of the producers of the show, one that Sanghyuk was introduced in one of his previous shows. "You're early!" 

Sanghyuk gets up, and bows in greeting. The producer walks him to his seat and occupies the place right beside Sanghyuk's. They make small talk for a bit, the room filling bit by bit as the conversation continues. 

Sanghyuk asks about the projects he has been doing, and in hindsight, he's suprirsed that he did not see the topic backfiring. 

"So how about you? Isn't your contract finishing up soon?" 

Years of practice have taught Sanghyuk not to be surprised about people knowing these kind of things. He nods easily enough, practiced smile on his lips, not giving anything away. 

"Have you thought about what you're going to do?" 

*

Sanghyuk dodged the question then, as well as he could, but the thing is, he _has_ thought about it. 

He has seen groups being torn apart by distance, the members futures not as bright once the group splits. He has seen members being lucky and being able to live through the separation. He knows the theories and how history usually goes. 

He thinks about his hyungs, and thinks about the fans, and thinks about how he feels about how it feels to be on stage together with them. He doesn't know if he's ready to give that up just yet. 

But then, later, looking at the script he was just given, he thinks about himself. He remembers being praised by his work on the play and on the song he just released, and he wonders. 

He thinks of Hongbin hyung with his gaming career, and Jaehwan hyung with his musical gigs, and Wonshik hyung, making all his dreams come true. And Hakyeon hyung and Taekwoon hyung, with the military being a reality, making the decision even more important. 

*

The song finishes, and the director’s voice sounds from the studio earphones. 

“Perfect!” he says, excited, and Sanghyuk sees him clapping from across the studio. “We’re done here!” 

Sanghyuk signals a thumbs up, and smiles, excited. His second song, done. He bows to the team on his way out, already rushing to his next schedule, but he’s elated, happy. Another song being published, in less than a year. 

His future is looking bright, he thinks, and suddenly he knows what he wants to do. 

***

**May 10, 2019**

  
  


The clock marks 6 a.m. by the time Hongbin's computer turns off completely and he gets up from the chair, stretching after too many hours sitting. He walks to the kitchen, hearing the sounds of Sanghyuk getting ready in the bathroom as he drinks a glass of water right before bed. The first rays of sun come through the window, peeking from behind the buildings and the horizon, and Hongbin finds himself enchanted by the view. He remembers those mornings he spent during summer at the temple, and considers staying up, meditate for a bit, but Sanghyuk comes out of the bathroom, and interrupts his train of thought. 

"Good morning!" Sanghyuk says, when going from the bathroom and into his room, clearly in a hurry. Hongbin vaguely remembers him having a schedule early in the morning, and before going back to his room he turns the coffee machine on and leaves a travel mug right beside it. 

The bed is cool and comfortable when Hongbin lays on it, and sleep takes him quick, barely seconds after closing his eyes. But not quickly enough to miss the soft "Thank you hyung," from the other side of the door that makes him fall asleep with a smile. 

*

His phone pings on his pocket right as he closes the door, mask in hand, ready for a friendly outing with his friends. _We're meeting at the restaurant_ , the message reads. 

He wears the mask as soon as he comes out, more out of habit than necessity, and makes his way there. It's been nice to be able to meet his friends, not only to be allowed to, but to have the time to be able to meet their schedules. 

He looks at them across the table, and listens to their stories. Listens to the friend who just opened a new restaurant and to the guy who has always dreamed of being a father and is about to become one. He joins in on jokes, and laughs with them until there are tears around his eyes. 

The phone pings in his pocket just as he’s making his way back. Probably his manager. He has a schedule tomorrow, he remembers. And then the illusion pops. 

He sees the couple of girls looking back at him from time to time. He wonders why, until he remembers he left his cap at home. It is not like it’s always needed, but it never hurts to have it near, especially on days like this. He puts on his hood, feeling very happy to have the option right now, and speeds his steps, trying to not make it obvious that he’s rushing away from them. 

It’s not possible that Hongbin doesn’t breathe until the doors of the elevator close behind himself, but it definitely feels like he did. The tension leaves him as soon as he’s safe in the building again, and that more than anything is a reminder of how his life is very much not like the rest. 

He discards the thought, busy getting ready for tomorrow, but the question is already on his mind. 

_What if it could be?_

***

**May 19, 2019**

  
  


The date, circled on the calendar on his wall, looks at him accusingly. 

Five days to the anniversary. Five days to take the final decision. 

Wonshik knows that VIXX will not be VIXX without the six of them. And he loves VIXX, loves it for what they are and loves his members, friends. Another family. But he also knows that he feels ready to take his career on his own hands. And the question, Wonshik guesses, is that if he wants his career enough to give up VIXX. 

There's an answer pressing to the back of his mind, but it is not an answer that he likes. 

He hates having to choose. 

He gets out of the room, walking around the studio. Butt, who has been watching him sleepily from under the couch catches up with him, following him around and sitting beside his legs when he stops by the window. Wonshik looks at him, and can’t help but ask him. 

“There isn’t a simple solution, right, buddy?” 

Butt whimpers sadly. Sliding to the floor with him, Wonshik agrees. 

His phone pings, and Wonshik picks it up, eager for a distraction. A twitter notification prompts him to check his mentions, and Wonshik is unlocking the phone before he can think about it twice. He scrolls through them, the messages from his fans, even at this hour, when the whole city seems to be sleeping. The messages go from funny to thoughtful, and there’s a handful of them that are in languages he doesn’t understand. 

He’s going to miss them so much. He knows he’s going to lose them no matter what he chooses and at that moment the thought hurts. 

His fingers open Jaehwan’s conversation on his phone and types before he can think about it twice. 

Why do I have to choose?

He sends the message and regrets it immediately. He shouldn’t burden Jaehwan with this. He shouldn’t burden anyone until he chooses. It would not be fair for him, wouldn’t it? This was a bad idea, he thinks, but before he has time to come up with some excuse for the message before Jaehwan gets up and sees it, the phone pings again, signaling an answer. 

Do you want me to come over, Wonshikkie?

Wonshik’s fingers fingers freeze over the screen, not sure what to answer. He knows what he _wants_ to answer, but it is late, and this should not be happening anyway. And Jaehwan somehow must have inherited some of Hakyeon’s weirdest powers, because he goes on without waiting for an answer… and not completely missing the mark. 

Why do you have to choose anyway? Why can't you have both? 

Wonshik stares at the phone, blinking at the words. The words stare back at him until the screen turns off and then some, until Wonshik’s world re-arranges itself. He feels a little dizzy when it’s done, and he feels silly for not having thought about it sooner but Jaehwan is absolutely right. 

Maybe, just maybe, he could have both. 

With newfound motivation, Wonshik gets up from the floor, and back into the work room. He has five days, and a lot of work to do. 

***

**May 24, 2019**

  
  


Hakyeon is restless. He has been feeling restless for weeks, actually, but the feeling got stronger every day the anniversary got closer and right now, at four thirty in the morning of the anniversary, Hakyeon doesn’t think he can take it anymore. But he has to. 

Until he gets his phone back anyway. 

*

He picks his phone up with trembling hands, turning it on on the way to his room. He feels the phone vibrating, too many notifications coming in at the same time. He can’t look at them yet, the walk to his room feeling longer than ever, but he only cares about one of them. 

The room is blissfully empty when he comes in, and he dives into his bag for his earphones. He sits on his bed, back against the corner, finally ready.   

There it is. 

There are a ton of notifications waiting for him, but his eyes zero on the one from the group chat. A video file, sent barely minutes after midnight, from Taekwoon's phone. Of course, Hakyeon downloads it, not looking away from the numbers on the screen, counting with them. 

The screen goes black, and Hakyeon turns his phone immediately, triggering the full screen. He can see the dorm's couch behind the hand of whoever's setting the phone, the rest trickling in slowly, setting themselves on the couch. He misses them so much. 

They wave to the camera, and play around for a bit, until Sanghyuk clears his throat, making the rest of them focus. Hakyeon feels proud already. 

"So hyung," Wonshik starts, in his best MC voice, "when you left for the army, we left on our hands the future of VIXX. We already know how you feel about it, we did talk a little about it before you left, but we had a lot of things to talk about still. That had to be talked about." 

"We talked about it yesterday, and we have reached a decision. We thought you might want to hear from us, first," Hongbin says, solemn. It sounds ominous. 

Taekwoon leans forward, and takes the cue from Hongbin. 

"We have decided that we want to keep going with VIXX. We have changed since we all started, and we all have different goals, but one thing we agree on is that we have a very good thing going on. Something that we think it's worth preserving." 

It feels like too much, like a weight has been lifted from him, way more heavier than he thought it was, and Hakyeon considers pausing the video. There's not a lot of video left though, so he holds on. He might be able to hold himself together for a little while longer. 

"Of course, we cannot make this decision without you," Jaehwan says now from the center of the couch. "The other thing that all of us agree on is that VIXX is not VIXX without the six of us. And that means that, if by the time you end your service, you have a different opinion, we will all respect that." 

"Until then," Sanghyuk speaks now, and he does it like he knows exactly how much this is affecting him. Like they all know. "we will keep VIXX safe. And we'll going to wait for you to come back." 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading ♥
> 
> Find me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/yonireads) if you'd like!


End file.
